D Day

11 September 2018

If feels like forever. It feels like a minute ago. I think the apprehension of what might or might not happen was worse than the actual event.

“Ok Bron we are all done now. Congrats”

And that was that. A marriage dissolved. Divorced.

Congrats? Condolences?

I haven’t replied yet. What do you say to a message like that?

Ok?
Thank you?
You too?
Noted?

I am hoping that in this instance the 2 blue ticks of a Whatsapp read message will suffice. I am not yet fluent in divorce etiquette.

What do I feel?
Not sure really.

Right now?

Right now I feel fabulous. I spent a small fortune and 6 hours at the salon and emerged a different new me.
I feel fucking phenomenal.

Relief
Free
A chapter closed.
A little numb.

I feel like it’s one of those moments where what goes up must come down but right now I don’t care. I am in the moment. I am sitting in a coffee shop that serves Cosmo’s at 7pm at night with Table Mountain behind me and the sun setting in front of me and I feel like all is right with the world. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City.

Now is not the time for reflection or to peel back the layers and digest all of this. I need to just be and let things take its course. I don’t want to control my emotions right now.

Right now I am not a Wife.
Right now I am not a Mom (Kids are with Jean, bless her)
Right now I am not a Daughter (I haven’t called Mom yet)
Right now I am not a Sister (I have called my Sister yet)
Right now I am not an Employee (took 2 days off work)

I am ME – and what that is?

Every time I think I know, I surprise myself and learn more. I am excited to find out. I have pink nails and blonde, very blonde hair. I can be anything I want. A writer? A dancer? A leader? A TV Producer? An interior designer? Who knows.

Ok Shaz is around the corner. I must hustle. The fat Cactus awaits.