Two years ago, I was burnt out, broken and basically bedridden. I spent a week cocooned under the duvet, feeling the effects of a perfect life imploding in a year long spiral of stress.
One year ago, I was brave and adventurous, building on lessons learnt, pushing boundaries and road tripping with the kids from Meadowridge (Cape Town) to Manors (Durban) via Stillbaai. I was learning to let it go, and have fun.
Today I am calm and content. My nearest and dearest could spot it straight away and was mentioned again and again. Something I never ever thought I’d be described as. It is one of the hardest things that a perfectionist, busy A type person like me can attempt.
I began writing in my journal on a daily basis. Things I’m grateful for. Amazing things, big and small. From family to a flowering rose, from hugs to a roof over my head, from scented candles to self awareness. I wrote down my affirmations (I am…) , clearings (What, why…) , goals… everything. I wrote it down old school style. Pen to paper. Then in cursive. Then with my left hand. Page after page.
Calmness for me means the absence of anxiety. To be at ease with myself and my thoughts.
Today I am okay with doing less, I am okay with having less and I am ok with stillness.
I am convinced that this is not a goal but rather a pleasant gift in my journey of growth and gratitude.
I am excited and curious to see what gifts are in store in this next orbit around the sun.