It was tough.
It felt like something was missing. Several times during the day I found myself opening up the facebook app unconsciously and had to quickly close it. It was a weird feeling, like I have been cut off from the world but it was also weirdly a nice feeling. I immediately noticed that I had more time. I picked up a book and read a few pages instead of scrolling. I reached out to a few friends with voice notes.
It’s been quite difficult I have to be honest but it’s also been great. I have not found myself going down rabbit holes (and according to Netflix’s well-timed launch of their new documentary) it’s an actual thing and there is an algorithm for it. It’s well-timed for me in that I can see the effects of not being distracted by social media (and there are a lot of positives) and the attempts to get me back online. For example, I’m now suddenly getting emails from facebook letting me know that so and so updated their status with a, y and z, and proceed to give me a very slight taster but obviously I need to click through to see it. And if the email wasn’t useful, in other words I’d like to not receive it, guess what, I also have to click through.
My mood has been affected.That is clear. Just how its being affected though is still up for debate. I have more time with my thoughts and no social media to self soothe so I’m having to face some actual adulting stuff like feelings instead of laughing at “forwarded” funnies.
Suddenly there are so many things happening in my life that I can write about and share and it’s killing me not to be able to do that. I’m still writing them but not making it public feels like my last step in my 12 step writing therapy programme is not complete.
Post on social media so that my kak day can make someone else laugh and lift their spirits while at the same time I can work through seeing the gratitude. You know the usual stuff like when I get a flat tyre at 7am as I’m about to do the school run, when my son gets in big trouble at school, when the painters are chipping away at the window above my head, when my laptops drive malfunctions and I thought I’d lost everything.
I am now alarmingly aware that my whatsapp usage is sitting at around 3 – 4 hours per day and it seems whatsapp is categorised as social media. (although to be fair, it’s pretty much a work comm tool as well) My addiction to Two Dots has returned as has my Netflix documentary binge watching.
I am reaching out to friends more as I don’t know what going on with them unless I ask.
I am reading more.
I am writing more.
I am a bit oblivious to the latest on Covid and crime and government stuff. (That is a positive in my book)
I don’t grab for my phone as much.