And, like I am busy reading now with Brene Brown, as ugly and messy as the middle part is, it is necessary, vital and cannot be skipped. 
I am grateful for the middle part. I have set up camp in that middle part. Yes it’s hard AF. But it also means progress. If I was comfortable right now, it would mean zero change, zero progress, and zero gorgeousness waiting at the other end. I have reached that point of no return where you can’t go back, but going forward is messy, challenging and difficult. 

I am embracing this wholeheartedly. Why? Because my actions caused this. I was not willing to settle. I was not prepared to compromise. This is all on me. And I’m owning it. I’m working through it. There are ups and downs and spirals and peaks but it’s still heading in the right direction – forward.


I’m learning to listen to my inner voice, my energy vibrations. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not. I read the other day that our brains love storytelling. If something has a story structure to it – a beginning, a middle and an end, the dopamine is triggered and our brain lights up. That happens when I write. I need a theme, a headline, structure. A beginning, a middle and an end and i’m lit! I can see that connection, that spark light up in my head. My brain goes… click, yass!

 
I am trying to work this into all aspects of my life. That hit of dopamine when you get the right structure; be it the structuring of my day, my week or life , finding the right path be it career, personal, love, parenting, diagnosis,  finding the right people to connect with, my tribe, mentors.

….and ultimately the right purpose, aka the theme or thread that links this all  together. 


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